a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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