omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
