just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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