Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
