if only i could text you this smell
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
