Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Shame - the story of my life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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