You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
