smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
