her vagine was all disorganized.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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