I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
