I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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