drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
4 words: hood of his car
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
