I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
