batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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