I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
