Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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