based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
