im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize