I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
