I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
