there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
