what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
