she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Randomize
