Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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