I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
