you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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