Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
