how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
