so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
