I didn't shave. On purpose
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
