Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize