sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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