i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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