just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
