someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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