Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
