Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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