I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
