White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
