You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
