Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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