I like my sex mixed with concussions.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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