she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm like, not good at living.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
