i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize