you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
