he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
