i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
