i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
well you can't waste a boner
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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