That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize