You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
