I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize