so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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