Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
