I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
