If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
