we're blogging at a bar
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize