Me too!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
