that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
