Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
