community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
