Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't turn off my feet"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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