Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
