If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
