He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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