im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
