You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My dick has a subreddit
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
