I heard we made out
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
