Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
