Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
