we're chasing vodka with high fives
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
