i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
