I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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