The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize